A Study in Primates
by Lionesseye
Summary: Sherlock's therapist thinks it would be a good idea to bring him to the London Zoo twice a week for the next two months. Superb.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all! I'm back, with a new fandom! This is an AU story, I hope you enjoy. Please review and tell me if this is an interest concept!****  
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**This is just a prologue, so it's super short! It will become longer, I promise.**

**I do not own anything to do with Sherlock BBC or the original books! Thanks for reading!**

* * *

"This is boring."

Cynthia sighed. "It's all part of your recovery, Sherlock."

"Will staring at a snake swallow a rat whole help me get rid of addiction? Oh, yes... it will not!" he grumbled, the bass tones in his voice making it seem like the plexiglass in front of them was vibrating.

Cynthia decided not to make a comment and simply dragged him to the lion exhibit.

She was_ really_ not looking forward to coming here with the man twice a week for the next two months. It had been decided that a positive public place would be good for the man.

Sherlock Holmes shook himself away from the therapist's grip. "I can walk," he growled through clenched teeth.

A little four-year-old pointed at Sherlock. "That man looks like the lion, Daddy!"

Indeed he did. A rather sallow, thin lion stared at his humanoid counterpart. Sherlock glared at the boy's father and read the label attached to the rather horrid cage.

_Albinism is a rare but not unheard in the species Panthera leo, and this_

Sherlock stopped reading. Not only was he being told offensive things by his peers, but by toddlers. Superb.

"Stupid children."

Cynthia tutted disapprovingly. "Now Sherlock, you've only got a few weeks left in care. You're doing very well, you've not been inebriated for-"

"I know, 2 months."

"2 months, and you wouldn't want to be put back into care for violent tendencies against minors."

Sherlock just looked at her.

"That makes this much sense," he said, putting the tips of two very large fingers close together, "And I obviously _just _called him stupid. I call everyone stupid. I call you stupid."

"You've _also _almost given me a black eye."

"The two events had no correlation."

"I suppose. I was just telling you not to call children stupid, Sherlock..."

"Why not? Don't want people growing up believing that they're something they most definitely are not! That's not beneficial to anyone. And neither, speaking of stupidity, is this zoo. This is extremely boring."

Cynthia rolled her eyes and said, "Very well. We'll leave in a few minutes, I first want to see the penguins."

* * *

Sherlock stared at the waddling birds and sniffed. "Must we come here for the next two months? Can't we go to the morgue? It's incredibly boring. At least I'm not in the cage. That would be so dull. "

"It actually wouldn't be," said a voice behind him.

Sherlock turned around to see a short, middle-aged man with dark blonde hair. He was watching the penguins with a smile on his face.

Sherlock sniffed again. "You would know?"

The man said, "Yes, I used to be a penguin," and laughed.

Sherlock didn't respond and the man cleared his throat. He spoke again, with less joy showing on his face.

"Uh, that was a joke."

No response from the tall man besides a blink. The woman next to him smiled apologetically.

The shorter man decided to continue. "Erm, a mate of mine, Tom, did this exhibit thing here a few years back. He loved it. See, they put eight humans in an exhibit and basically presented the idea that humans were no better than other primates. It was right around when I first came the zoo, in fact it was the reason I came! It really inspired me. I loved the idea, that animals were just as good as us. "

"Certainly a true concept." Sherlock said without humor.

The man look up at him, slightly exasperated. "Thanks, mate."

Then he walked away, leaning partially on a cane.

Cynthia yelled after him. "Sir! Please stay."

As the man turned around, Cynthia muttered to Sherlock that this was "A good way to make friends, the zoo."

"Yes?" the blonde man said kindly to her.

"What's your name?" Cynthia asked politely.

The blonde man let his cane rest on the cage railing to shake her hand. "Watson. Er, Doctor John Watson. Zoologist at the London Zoo."

"Oh," Cynthia said excitedly. "I suppose we'll be seeing quite a lot of you in the next couple months, then!"

The doctor's smile turned into a forced one. "Lovely!"

* * *

**Intriguing? Meh?**

**There actually was a human exhibit at the London Zoo in 2005- (with someone named Tom)!**

**I DO MAH RESEARCH YO**

**Bye lovelies! **

**-Lionesseye**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello there! Have some more characters, plus an actual plot is sort of starting to take off! I actual have a fully organized plan for this story YAY MEH.**

**I've also become obsessed recently with danisnotonfire on the youtubes. When he and Phil make videos together = perfection. HE'S SO ADORABLE AND SEXUAL UGH. First time I've not even needed to see someone talk or be themselves, but just content to look at photos of. (YAY FOR OBJECTIFICATION KINDA) Congrats, me, on actual attraction to someone. YEAH WOOHOO.**

**Odd rant over. **

**Hope you enjoy this!**

**I don't own Sherlock or the London Zoo. I just own my eye color, it's trademarked. :p**

* * *

"And then the guy just basically insulted all of humanity, but he was obviously directing it toward me. Like the guy knows everything about me!" Dr. Watson ranted to his fellow zoo staff members.

"John, you haven't got it that bad," complained a man by the surname of Anderson. "Not only am I your assistant's _assistant_, I also sell balloons to messy children because_ one_ job here doesn't pay the rent!"

Greg Lestrade, the zookeeper, cleared his throat disapprovingly. . "Anderson, Dr. Watson was speaking of a rather annoying bloke he met, not his salary. Please, go look at penguins or something."

Anderson huffed. "Sorry, _Dr. Watson,_" and walked away.

Lestrade rolled his eyes at John. "Sorry about him. He's got some sort of brain in there somewhere."

"His brain is a dick. He's a dick." said John.

Lestrade looked around.

"Yep." Lestrade agreed, not needing to "reprimand" the doctor for his harsh words, for there was no one in the vicinity.

Lestrade continued, "So this Sherlock guy..."

John gave a harsh, unhappy laugh. "He's in rehab, and his therapist, this woman Cynthia, is taking him to the zoo once a week for the next two months before he's released."

Lestrade looked incredulous. "The London Zoo for rehabilitation? There is literally nothing relaxing about this place!"

Some children screamed in the distance.

John nodded, "I agree. But I think Sherlock's fine, I mean off-the-drugs wise. He's just _incredibly_ rude."

"So why does this Cynthia feel the need to do some special treatment on him, or whatever it is?"

"I think she just likes the zoo."

* * *

The next week, John found himself walking over to Cynthia and Sherlock again, even though he _really _did not want to.

There was just something so _fascinating_ about the man's horridness.

"Hello, Cynthia. Sherlock." John greeted the pair in front of the otters.

"Hello, ah," Cynthia tilted her head and eyes back in thought, "I'm sorry, what was your name?"

John smiled in understanding and stuck out his hand, once again leaning the cane down. "Dr. John Watson."

"Hello, John," Sherlock said.

There was a bit of an awkward silence.

"So," prompted Cynthia, "John, can you tell us any interesting facts about animals?"

By "us" she obviously meant Sherlock.

John smiled, "Sure! I don't want to bore you with details that you knew previously, so what do you know about otters."

"Nothing," Sherlock said matter-of-factly, "It's unnecessary information, otters."

"You just insulted my job, thanks, mate. And it's good to know about animals."

"Boring. You, however, may seem boring, normal-"

"Thanks."

"Yet you are not, however much you look it."

"Thanks? How can you tell, if I look it then, huh?"

"You grew up with a fascination for animals, obviously, yet your parents never let you have pets. You went to work in Africa with chimpanzees for a few years, but in the first year of you being there, one went rabid and violent, and bit your shoulder. Your limp is psychosomatic, yet you still work at a place where chimpanzees are one the main attractions, besides the horrid tourists as entertainment for the locals, of course."

John looked stunned.

"How- how could you possibly know that?"

"You walk perfectly well when you aren't thinking about it, you flinch every time you pass the chimpanzee exhibit, and as you walked over here you tried to convince a mother to buy her whining toddler a fish from the gift store." Sherlock uttered in one breath.

Cynthia started to apologize, "Sorry, he does that a-"

"No, no, it's fine. It's amazing." John said in awe.

Sherlock look surprised. "Hmm," he said to himself in a satisfied manner.

John, feeling a bit uncomfortable, changed the subject.

"So how do you not know a thing about otters? You must know, perhaps that they live in kelp forests, or how they access food?"

Sherlock looked down at the doctor with a strange mix of disdain and respect.

"I delete unnecessary information."

"He deletes some information he thinks is not important." Cynthia said a bit too late.

There was an awkward moment between the three of them.

"Like my last name," the therapist huffed.

"Er," John said, trying to be kind, "What is your last name?"

"Hahn." She said.

John smiled thinly and turned back to the tall man. "So do you know anything about any animals?"

"I know some poisonous animals and nearly all types of bacteria and viruses."

John raised his eyebrows. "Well, that's a start. You know what? I'm going to teach you about more commonly known animals every time you visit."

Cynthia clapped her hands together. "Oh, that's so kind, thank you Jo-"

"Surely you have more important things to do." Sherlock stated.

"No, I love to teach, it's my job. Also, I'd like to prove that knowledge about animals is important. I'll see you next week."

Sherlock had no reaction.

Cynthia shook his hand and said, "Thank you again, it'll be good for him to have some healthy interaction."

John smiled. As the pair walked away, John turned to an otter staring at him.

"Why did I do that?" John banged his head on the glass.

* * *

**FORCED INTERACTION YEAH!**

**( I had my first coffee today ) **

**Till next time,**

**-Lionesseye !**


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